Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
