Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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