i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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