She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
