did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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