Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
