i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
