why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
