On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
