Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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