check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
