Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
