Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
