I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
