went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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