i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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