I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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