you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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