in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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