we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
