I feel like I'm in dance class right now
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize