it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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