I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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