He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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