is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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