hotel room ftw
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
