Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
