2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize