My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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