Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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