Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
