I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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