Only a mothe r could love this liver
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
