Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
