I molested 6 butterflies tonight
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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