I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize