I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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