My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
