VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
