did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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