What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize