i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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