My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
