Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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