I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
