smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
