So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
