Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
