His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
