I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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