i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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