never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
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When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
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I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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