he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
