you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Randomize
