whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
